Excuse me, but my life is waiting.

Hi!!! As you can tell, my exams are OVER! Hurray! Anyway, i did the most ridiculous thing to so-called ‘celebrate’ the end of my torture of surviving exam stress..i went clubbing on a monday night. At first, it didn’t seem silly cuz nothing can feel silly when you have finally finished your last paper. Absolutely nothing. The feeling of being free is just fantastic. BUT, when we actually arrived at MS, it was a totally different story. It was like a ghost town. Literally.

For starters, Dblo isn’t open on Mondays. For the unintiated, it isn’t open on tuesdays either. But I swear that they used to open for business 7 days a week..and they had a different music genre every night. Oh well…its either i have a bad memory, or the door bitch was lying when she said they had never opened on mons and tues ever.

Anyhow, me and my friends decided to try out mdm wong after mulling over ( for damned long too. 30 mins is waaaaay too long a time to take to make a decision! bah!) whether to stay in the ghost town, or retreat to some sedate, boring and mundane coffee joint. May i say, Singapore just has too many coffee places. Anyone would think that Singaporeans had nothing better to do than sit at coffee joints, nurse their lattes and gossip. Really. An overseas friend ever commented that there’s nothing to do in Singapore except shop, club, eat and sit at coffee places. So sad. Okay, maybe not sad per se but embarassing. I stand corrected.

Anyhow, we finally headed to mdm wong after counting that at least had 10 people had gone in. Nothing is worse than going to a good club that is empty. Why? You’d think it’d be worse to go to a bad club? Nope. That’s where you’re wrong. Since it’s already a bad club, u’d already be expecting a bad experience..since u must have had a bad experience in the first place to label the place as B.A.D. On the other hand, going to a great place with the wrong atmosphere is a total good-past-experience killer. Anyhow, we were pleasantly surprised to see a mini crowd in mdm wong. Unfortunately, nobody was dancing and what better way to shake off any remants of stress than to boogie? So…after downing a bucket of Bacardi Breezers, we headed off for greener pastures. So guess where we went? No prizes for getting the right answer! It’s too easy.

Haha. Guess my roots run deep. We headed for Angel. A techno club that i have never been to before. Yes, it IS an Ah Beng place. And yes, there IS a mirror. But you know what, i totally dig clubs that have mirrors. Firstly, you get to check out if u look like a squid on fire. More importantly however, is to be able to snigger at those poseurs who stare so intently at the mirror trying to perfect their dance moves in public. Someone should really tell those losers that practicing thier dance moves in front of mirrors should be strictly limited to the 4 walls in their bedroom. Or maybe the toilet would be a more apt choice.

Anyhow, u’d be pleased to know we didn’t dally long and left by 0130hrs.

Hi!!! As you can tell, my exams are OVER! Hurray! Anyway, i did the most ridiculous thing to so-called ‘celebrate’ the end of my torture of surviving exam stress..i went clubbing on a monday night. At first, it didn’t seem silly cuz nothing can feel silly when you have finally finished your last paper. Absolutely nothing. The feeling of being free is just fantastic. BUT, when we actually arrived at MS, it was a totally different story. It was like a ghost town. Literally.

For starters, Dblo isn’t open on Mondays. For the unintiated, it isn’t open on tuesdays either. But I swear that they used to open for business 7 days a week..and they had a different music genre every night. Oh well…its either i have a bad memory, or the door bitch was lying when she said they had never opened on mons and tues ever.

Anyhow, me and my friends decided to try out mdm wong after mulling over ( for damned long too. 30 mins is waaaaay too long a time to take to make a decision! bah!) whether to stay in the ghost town, or retreat to some sedate, boring and mundane coffee joint. May i say, Singapore just has too many coffee places. Anyone would think that Singaporeans had nothing better to do than sit at coffee joints, nurse their lattes and gossip. Really. An overseas friend ever commented that there’s nothing to do in Singapore except shop, club, eat and sit at coffee places. So sad. Okay, maybe not sad per se but embarassing. I stand corrected.

Anyhow, we finally headed to mdm wong after counting that at least had 10 people had gone in. Nothing is worse than going to a good club that is empty. Why? You’d think it’d be worse to go to a bad club? Nope. That’s where you’re wrong. Since it’s already a bad club, u’d already be expecting a bad experience..since u must have had a bad experience in the first place to label the place as B.A.D. On the other hand, going to a great place with the wrong atmosphere is a total good-past-experience killer. Anyhow, we were pleasantly surprised to see a mini crowd in mdm wong. Unfortunately, nobody was dancing and what better way to shake off any remants of stress than to boogie? So…after downing a bucket of Bacardi Breezers, we headed off for greener pastures. So guess where we went? No prizes for getting the right answer! It’s too easy.

Haha. Guess my roots run deep. We headed for Angel. A techno club that i have never been to before. Yes, it IS an Ah Beng place. And yes, there IS a mirror. But you know what, i totally dig clubs that have mirrors. Firstly, you get to check out if u look like a squid on fire. More importantly however, is to be able to snigger at those poseurs who stare so intently at the mirror trying to perfect their dance moves in public. Someone should really tell those losers that practicing thier dance moves in front of mirrors should be strictly limited to the 4 walls in their bedroom. Or maybe the toilet would be a more apt choice.

Anyhow, u’d be pleased to know we didn’t dally long and left by 0130hrs.

Okay..finally. It’s thursday. A breather at long last. Which also officially means, I have only have to last till mon before my exams are OVER. 2 more papers…just 2 more….*groan* And some good people are already DONE with theirs! It just isn’t fair! Humph!

Anyhow..i don’t intend to study at all today..okay..make that tonight. Plan to watch Sex and the city, drinking my favourite Sydney Cider (you ppl should really try it. Its alcholic and tastes really yummy! I’m not kidding! and best of all, it costs less than 5 bucks! And I’m not saying this because im being cheapskate) and blogging.

I’ve been a bad girl. My mom bought me these Tillands aka Airplants and i didn’t water them. Hardy little things that only need misting about 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately, I forgot to water them and they kinda shrivelled up. Oops. So, i had to dunk them in water. And guess what? I promptly forgot to take them out (im only supposed to leave them in for an hour). Am I horrid or what? Currently, they are recuperating on my window sill after experiencing severe dehydration, water torture and ferocious shaking (that’s because i needed to get the water out of their crevices. Otherwise they’d rot). Wow. That’s quite alot to recover from. More torture in a day than I think i will experience in my entire life…hopefully. AND, my hamster died and i didn’t even get to pet it for the last time. I was thinking of playing with it but decided against it and chose to study for my papers instead. And now its gone. Sigh. Why do these things always happen to me? And i didn’t even have time to bury it because I was rushing off to an exam. I’m such a bad person.

Anyhow..I was browsing through my friend’s blog and noted that she wished that her relationship with her bf was more unstable. (before you start thinking she’s crazy, i just want to say..she’s NOT) What a wish! And you know what was the funniest thing? I have always envied her stable-as-a-rock relationship, in which she has a super-patient-rich-and-relatively-cute boyfriend. Damnit. This is the classic case of “the grass is greener on the other side“. Ah well…tidak apa apa lah.

Okay..finally. It’s thursday. A breather at long last. Which also officially means, I have only have to last till mon before my exams are OVER. 2 more papers…just 2 more….*groan* And some good people are already DONE with theirs! It just isn’t fair! Humph!

Anyhow..i don’t intend to study at all today..okay..make that tonight. Plan to watch Sex and the city, drinking my favourite Sydney Cider (you ppl should really try it. Its alcholic and tastes really yummy! I’m not kidding! and best of all, it costs less than 5 bucks! And I’m not saying this because im being cheapskate) and blogging.

I’ve been a bad girl. My mom bought me these Tillands aka Airplants and i didn’t water them. Hardy little things that only need misting about 2-3 times a week. Unfortunately, I forgot to water them and they kinda shrivelled up. Oops. So, i had to dunk them in water. And guess what? I promptly forgot to take them out (im only supposed to leave them in for an hour). Am I horrid or what? Currently, they are recuperating on my window sill after experiencing severe dehydration, water torture and ferocious shaking (that’s because i needed to get the water out of their crevices. Otherwise they’d rot). Wow. That’s quite alot to recover from. More torture in a day than I think i will experience in my entire life…hopefully. AND, my hamster died and i didn’t even get to pet it for the last time. I was thinking of playing with it but decided against it and chose to study for my papers instead. And now its gone. Sigh. Why do these things always happen to me? And i didn’t even have time to bury it because I was rushing off to an exam. I’m such a bad person.

Anyhow..I was browsing through my friend’s blog and noted that she wished that her relationship with her bf was more unstable. (before you start thinking she’s crazy, i just want to say..she’s NOT) What a wish! And you know what was the funniest thing? I have always envied her stable-as-a-rock relationship, in which she has a super-patient-rich-and-relatively-cute boyfriend. Damnit. This is the classic case of “the grass is greener on the other side“. Ah well…tidak apa apa lah.

I’m supposed to be studying for my bahasa test..oops, should relabelled as EXAM tomo but just cant seem to get into the mood. I’m doing everything else except study. Which is very bad. Very bad indeed.

Right now, i’m listening to a techno track in a cd given to me by my ex-BF. For kicks, I put the disc into the CD player and..I was instantly transported back to the year 1999. The phrase in my life when i was perpetually geared in killer platforms (k, its a little embarrassing to admit it now..but i was a great fan of platforms. No prizes for guess why.) and a micro-mini top. To think about it, I’ve come a long way, baby. Can’t decide if there’s a hidden ah lian in me somewhere..or is this another no-brainer question? Hmm..haha! I guess there must be!

Recently, I’ve been dogged by nostalgia. Sorry, I know..I’m sorta flogging a dead horse but i really can’t help it. And hey! It’s MY blog! I guess I’m finally coming to terms that Edmund is really dead and gone. It’s been about 8 months since he passed away. Frankly, it is difficult for me to pass a day without thinking of him. Okay, this seems like the ultimate emotional betrayal to my current squeeze, but I really can’t help it. It’s not as if I want to get back, I don’t. I just find it really sad that he’s gone. I really don’t know what is it that I find sad…we had not been in contact for more than a year before his death so there’s really nothing of him to miss from my life. So what is it??

I guess, it is the finality of death that really gets me. There’s always a second chance in life but none in death. Failed your exams? Just repeat the bloody year. Got dumped? Win him back. What the heck, if you’re really pissed, just slap the bugger and move on. Got fired? Get another job. Didn’t succeed today? You can always try again tomorrow. I know this sounds really cliched and old, but there’s no tomorrow for edmund.

I guess I really can’t accept the fact that there’s no turning back. No way of saying “thanks for all the good times, and that i forgive you now for being the bastard that caused me sleepless nights”. No possibility of ever bumping into him in the streets with the girl he dumped me for and bitch about it to my gfs later. No chance. Zero possibility. Zilch.

It really shit to listen to a song that we shared ( I can still imagine doing a silly boogie in the privacy of his room when my favourite techno song played), walk past a KTV joint, smell Hugo Dark Blue perfume, see a Phantom et cetera et cetera… and realize that while I have all the chances in the world to do anything now and again in the future, someone else has already lived his life and used up all his chances.



And really, what’s the point of reminiscing when there’s nothing I can do about it? Ppl always say that I should just let the past go, but should i really? Currently, my ex is nothing but a memory. If i let that go, what becomes of him in a world that only has time for the here and now. Take it easy? I’m cool.

But this makes me wonder, when you are dead and gone, what do people remember you for? It’s a really interesting question to ponder..when you are dead bored of course (no pun intended). Me? Well…I dunno. Maybe I want to be remembered for my hyena laugh. My craziness. Zest for life. Silliness. Squeakiness. Long rebonded hair. Makeup. Frankness. Looking good (okay, so maybe more for thinking that i look good. Reality bites.) Fun. Nonsensical. Rubbishy. For being helpful. Being emotional. Love of shopping. Looking like an Ah Lian. Working for Starhub. Headstrong. Contradictory. Whiny. My siemens SL55 and cranky HP laptop.

Kk, enough. I sound like I’m going to die soon too. Choy! And double CHOY! *bangs table for extra luck and protection*

Ahh..I feel better now. Since I can’t say it to him, the next best recourse is to say it here… Thanks for the good times, you stupid bastard. I’ll see u again in a few decades.

I’m supposed to be studying for my bahasa test..oops, should relabelled as EXAM tomo but just cant seem to get into the mood. I’m doing everything else except study. Which is very bad. Very bad indeed.

Right now, i’m listening to a techno track in a cd given to me by my ex-BF. For kicks, I put the disc into the CD player and..I was instantly transported back to the year 1999. The phrase in my life when i was perpetually geared in killer platforms (k, its a little embarrassing to admit it now..but i was a great fan of platforms. No prizes for guess why.) and a micro-mini top. To think about it, I’ve come a long way, baby. Can’t decide if there’s a hidden ah lian in me somewhere..or is this another no-brainer question? Hmm..haha! I guess there must be!

Recently, I’ve been dogged by nostalgia. Sorry, I know..I’m sorta flogging a dead horse but i really can’t help it. And hey! It’s MY blog! I guess I’m finally coming to terms that Edmund is really dead and gone. It’s been about 8 months since he passed away. Frankly, it is difficult for me to pass a day without thinking of him. Okay, this seems like the ultimate emotional betrayal to my current squeeze, but I really can’t help it. It’s not as if I want to get back, I don’t. I just find it really sad that he’s gone. I really don’t know what is it that I find sad…we had not been in contact for more than a year before his death so there’s really nothing of him to miss from my life. So what is it??

I guess, it is the finality of death that really gets me. There’s always a second chance in life but none in death. Failed your exams? Just repeat the bloody year. Got dumped? Win him back. What the heck, if you’re really pissed, just slap the bugger and move on. Got fired? Get another job. Didn’t succeed today? You can always try again tomorrow. I know this sounds really cliched and old, but there’s no tomorrow for edmund.

I guess I really can’t accept the fact that there’s no turning back. No way of saying “thanks for all the good times, and that i forgive you now for being the bastard that caused me sleepless nights”. No possibility of ever bumping into him in the streets with the girl he dumped me for and bitch about it to my gfs later. No chance. Zero possibility. Zilch.

It really shit to listen to a song that we shared ( I can still imagine doing a silly boogie in the privacy of his room when my favourite techno song played), walk past a KTV joint, smell Hugo Dark Blue perfume, see a Phantom et cetera et cetera… and realize that while I have all the chances in the world to do anything now and again in the future, someone else has already lived his life and used up all his chances.



And really, what’s the point of reminiscing when there’s nothing I can do about it? Ppl always say that I should just let the past go, but should i really? Currently, my ex is nothing but a memory. If i let that go, what becomes of him in a world that only has time for the here and now. Take it easy? I’m cool.

But this makes me wonder, when you are dead and gone, what do people remember you for? It’s a really interesting question to ponder..when you are dead bored of course (no pun intended). Me? Well…I dunno. Maybe I want to be remembered for my hyena laugh. My craziness. Zest for life. Silliness. Squeakiness. Long rebonded hair. Makeup. Frankness. Looking good (okay, so maybe more for thinking that i look good. Reality bites.) Fun. Nonsensical. Rubbishy. For being helpful. Being emotional. Love of shopping. Looking like an Ah Lian. Working for Starhub. Headstrong. Contradictory. Whiny. My siemens SL55 and cranky HP laptop.

Kk, enough. I sound like I’m going to die soon too. Choy! And double CHOY! *bangs table for extra luck and protection*

Ahh..I feel better now. Since I can’t say it to him, the next best recourse is to say it here… Thanks for the good times, you stupid bastard. I’ll see u again in a few decades.

I was surfing the net when i stumbled upon this excellent poem by William Blake. Really brilliant. How succintly he sums up the politics of “friendship”.. Makes you wonder how many times have you been stabbed in the back and not know it, huh? Hmm..

I was surfing the net when i stumbled upon this excellent poem by William Blake. Really brilliant. How succintly he sums up the politics of “friendship”.. Makes you wonder how many times have you been stabbed in the back and not know it, huh? Hmm..

Who’s the best? Yohanna of course! She’s SO gorgeous. Sigh. I wish i had such chistled features. Damn it.

Who’s the best? Yohanna of course! She’s SO gorgeous. Sigh. I wish i had such chistled features. Damn it.